Monday, 10 September 2012

Slow Progress....

I'm making slow progress. Very slow....
But at least I do seem to be getting somewhere at last. The Sertaline is having an effect, but it's very gradual. I suppose I was expecting to be lifted  more than this, faster than this. But I have never had my heart so completely and irrevocably smashed to smithereens before. I have come to realise that I'm not depressed in the 'normal' (for me) sense. My heart is broken and nothing will ever be as it was. Coming to terms with all that is so hard. I miss my man so much and everything has changed. I haven't wanted to carry on and I feel as though I'm being forced to. What else can I do except carry on?

Art has always been a saviour for me when I've been down. But I haven't had the heart for it for such a long time...but I am trying. I'm working on my doll for a swap. She's been painted three different colours so far, and still looks really ugly. I've got to send her to the US before the middle of October and I'm getting worried now. Will she be finished? The poor lady (my swap partner) is going to have a nasty shock when she opens THAT parcel!

On the non-existent job front, I have been signed up for a scheme to assist people back into work. I'm hoping and praying that it's going to be better than those Government schemes I've heard about that don't work and are just to make it look as if they are really helping people and to alter the in-work-out-of-work statistics. Wish me luck, I really need it.


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