Monday, 5 December 2011
Night casts her cloak around our world very early these days...no sooner has the sun come up, than off it goes to hide again. The days are so short and the cold has gripped us suddenly it seems. I had only just put away my strappy summer tops and realised that I didn't have anything warm to wear and no spare cash to buy anything! So I'm wearing lots of layers these days and since I still have lots of preparation to do in the flat before it's ready to paint, I keep myself busy with that and it keeps me warm until it's time to go to work.
Christmas is looming and I don't know how I'm going to feel. I can't begin to imagine a Christmas without my Kev. It seems to me that the best thing to do is to avoid it as far as I possibly can. No fuss, no celebrating, just get through it. So I have elected to work Christmas evening and have said I'm available for more hours, they just have to ask me.
I miss him so much and it seems to be getting more difficult to live with the knowledge that he's not coming back; I won't see him again; I won't hear his laughter or any of his daft jokes that used to make me smile.
How cruel this is.