I have courage....I don't know where it comes from, but it's obviously inside me somewhere. Someone recently gave me the idea of making an 'arty' record of what I've achieved during this last awful year. The idea is that I can remind myself that I have accomplished things that I should be proud of and not curled myself up in a corner and given up.
There is no choice though, not if you decide to live....
I know that Kev would have said, "carry on, be strong, go for it and don't worry; life's too short". Well I know how short a life can be and I know that he lived his as if each day was his last. So I at least owe it to him to make it work.
So I'm going to make a piece of art that I can put on the dresser ('shrine' to Kev) and see it every day. Hopefully, it will remind me that I have not only tried, but succeeded too.
Today my CRB arrived, plus I had a letter formally offering me the job I recently applied for. I'm going back to care work (in the Community) and I'm doing it because I really DO care. If all works out as planned, I will be able to support myself and that is so important to me.
I know that Kevin would be so proud of me and that gives me the boost I need for the next hurdles.
The first is April 15th...it will be a year since Kevin died (very difficult to comprehend that it happened at all, let alone that almost a year has passed by).
The second is April 30th which is when my eldest son and his gf fly to Canada for a year or maybe longer....(happy for them to have the opportunity to do this, but oh, how I will miss him).
The third is May 18th when youngest son L's baby is due (though obviously, this is one to look forward to).
Deep breath and carry on.
I have posted my swap in my group at www.mixedmediaart.ning.com
The theme was to do with Spring/Egg and was to be 3D. My offering was not 3D (I don't pay attention properly and was too eggcited (sorry) and wanted to finish it and post it to my partner in USA. I really liked what I made though...
Front and back views of my piece, with image transfer of goddess, celtic symbols, egg-shapes and poetry. It's gone off to Virginia today. Hope J likes it! (awful pictures, I know).